Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
