What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize