Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
