god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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