I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Randomize
