I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
