Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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