A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
