Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
