Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
