I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
