I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
