at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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