Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
