If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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