i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
