I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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