Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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