but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
