btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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