She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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