we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
