Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
