i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
