Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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