oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
