just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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