I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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