I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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