She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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