Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She bit a glass in half.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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