playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize