Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
