Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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