I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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