you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
