My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
