my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
