Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize