She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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