She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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