Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I bet he comes in French.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
