girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
