This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
