sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
