hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I didn't notice because vodka
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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