Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
