What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize