My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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