glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize