you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
