but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm too high and old for this...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
