just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
