She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
false alarm, still single
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
