Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
