I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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