vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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