I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
