Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
