I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
