Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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