do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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