My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
