she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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