I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize