the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
