you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
