we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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