I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
