already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
