Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His nipple licking is glorious
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