physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize