I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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