She is in my trunk
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
