Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
