doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
