I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
last night I used snow as a chaser
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
