these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
