So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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