Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
