11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
