Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
