I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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