Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
